It's official: the Oakland Beers have accidentally traded Stonehouse to the L.A. Gamblaz of the Los Angeles Parks & Rec League for a pitcher of michelada. Beers Management held an emergency press conference early Wednesday morning to address the snafu. Jordan Beers read from an official statement:
I am reluctant to confirm that - in fact - the Oakland Beers have traded Stonehouse to the Gamblaz in exchange for a delicious pitcher of michelada. As the manager of this organization, I take full responsibility for this embarrassing situation. With that said, I just want to clarify that the circumstances were very misleading and complicated. I was repeatedly told that we would be getting a former Minor League pitcher by the name of Juan Michelada. They said his career ERA was under 3.00 and that he was a workhorse, they had all these forged documents. They assured me he could easily go nine innings in the PCHL.
When it was time to pull the trigger the Gamblaz' GM says, 'So you send us Stonehouse and we send you One Michelada Pitcher?' And I thought he was talking about Juan Michelada, this flame-throwing, journeyman pitcher, who in fact does not exist. I signed off on the deal and the rest is history, I don't know what else to tell you. We goofed up on this one and that's that.
Although, I guess I should add that the pitcher of michelada was pretty excellent. It had the perfect amount of spice and it was actually quite strong, I definitely got a little buzz going. I made some fish tacos at home and caught up on a few episodes of 'Two and a Half Men,' it was a pretty cool night. You say what you will but that Ashton Kutcher cracks me up!
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